Advice Column #3 - friendship problems!

again, this comes from my other blog that got deleted. i'll post more advice things up when more people visit.

This girl kinda used to be my friend. Then she started acting mean to me! For instance, she often ignores me for no reason. Then also sometimes she gathers with some of her friends and they laugh and whisper. I have an inkling that that is about me. Could you please PlEaSe tell me what to say to her? I'm a bit timid so I can't yell at her.
Lucy

Dear Lucy,
I'm so sorry that happened!! You may be at an age where girls just want to fit in with the popular crowd and are very insecure! I hope it stops!
Whatever you do DO NOT use the internet! (no emails, IMs, facebook messages etc) it would be a huge mistake! In middle school I sent an email to my "friend" asking her what's wrong and why she was upset, my inbox flooded with hate messages and it was terrible, so please don't do that.
Now, talk to her very straightforwadly, calmly, and honestly. Begin by saying something like "I feel like I did something wrong, are you upset about something?"or "I was kind of hurt by the whispering around me, did I do anything to upset you?" say these things in a very calm way and make it look like its all your fault (even though we know its not!) so that way she won't turn her defensive mode on and start to insult you with her other friends. Once she does though, then you should use your best judgement and defend yourself in a good way, or talk to a parent.
If those things don't work, find new friends. Talk to another girl and invite her over to your house for a movie, or just to hang out. You shouldn't feel forced to spend time with your mean friends. It may seem very difficult at first, but you'll get used to it and it will be easy.
If all else fails, talk to your mom. If she has a good relationship with the mom of your "friend" ask her to gather some info on what has been going on with her recently. Maybe its not you? What if her parents are getting divorced and she's letting it out on you?
Good luck and I hope for the best for you!!
Nev

need advice??? nevoni.smith@yahoo.com